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my battle with meat

I was planning to cook something today and share my adventure, but I woke up with a wretched head cold. I still managed to get some chores done and be moderately productive, but now it's nearly dinner time and I feel my energy bar has been depleted. So cooking escapades to begin next weekend.

Instead I will share something that I've been struggling with lately. Meat grosses me out. There, I said it. I've never had intentions to become a vegetarian, although I do wish eating local pasture-fed room-to-roam meat was easier to come by (and maybe it is, I just haven't found out yet.) I'm now considering the switch to a more herbivore-based diet for the first time in my life. It started on Thanksgiving, when my mom asked me to take the dark meat off the turkey. I was grossed out, (I've always felt a little uneasy dealing with full birds) but I tried. I dug at it until I broke down crying from the feel of the meat under my fingernails. I started having a panic attack and had to escape to the bathroom to calm down. I told my mom to never ask me to do that again. It's just something about killing something and pulling it apart that I can't handle. And I thought, if I can't handle this, preparing it and dealing with it, I definitely shouldn't be eating it.

The past (nearly) two months have been filled with veggies (not nearly enough), fruit, junk food, pizza, and little bits of meat here and there. Each time I put a piece of meat on my plate I find myself only taking two or three bites before feeling nauseous from trying to get it down.

I still have no plans to become a real committed vegetarian. For my health's sake I need to learn what I should be eating to replace the protein and various other things I'm missing out on (I'm pretty sure my chocolate soy milk isn't cutting it alone.) I do feel like this is a realization and not just a phase, so hopefully I can build on this motivation and keep moving forward and changing for the better.

Afterthought: I love love love dairy. Milk, cheese, yogurt, ice cream. Organic is the goal. Vegan-ism is definitely not for me. Happy cows please?

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