luna acres

heirloom ballerina ornament - my very favorite Christmas is just a few days away!  It's always a stressful time of year,  but this year has been a real struggle for me.  Jonathan and me are both in the middle of changing jobs, which comes with it's own set of challenges trying not to get behind financially. We are doing okay, but there was no extra money to spend on gifts, and while our families are loving and supportive and insist that it's fine- it is very hard not to feel guilty when listening to the lists of everything they have bought. Society has made the holiday so materialized; tainted it with piles of stuff and wishlists and somehow the love of family and friends and being grateful for what we already have gets lost in the chaos. I see it most in kids, spoiled to the point of being upset because they were given the wrong version of a toy, the wrong barbie, the wrong game system, and throw a tantrum despite the Mount Everest size pile of expens...

not a very flattering hair do. On the drive home from wedding dress shopping tonight I was thinking about my life now-a-days, here with Jonathan. It started with thoughts of my mental state back in the "dark ages", compared to now. Throughout middle school, high school, my brief stint in college, and the few years afterwards, I struggled agonizingly with depression and anxiety. I was very reserved, kept everything bottled up inside, had little to no self confidence, cried and mutilated myself versus confronting people with my words and emotions. It took me years and hitting my personal rock bottom (I believe everybody has their own, and they are all different) to get help. A few years of therapy, some mild antidepressants, and a lot of personal life decisions have led me down a path of calm, love, sometimes anger and fear, but now expressed in healthy ways (like art, or screaming.) Moving back to my parents place in the country was the first big step. It gave us a brea...

  Christmas brings up a roller coaster of different emotions for me. I love getting together with my family, near and far. I love the food! I love decorations and making things and having apple cider and peppermint bark. I love eating waaaay too much and sleeping for ages. I love focusing on what's really important, like each other. But I hate the materialism. Everyone spends so much time and energy and money on elaborate gifts, some thoughtful and sweet, others unnecessary and useless. I grew up in a family that overdid it for Christmas. We always had a huge pile of presents under the tree, even if it meant months of my dad working overtime, struggling to get caught up from the financial hole they had fallen into once again. I hate that we always receive so much more than we can give. I hate that I always seem to be broke during the holidays, which is probably because I work for tips, and mid-November through New Years is slow in every restaura...

I said that I was going to write about something meaningful and well, I haven't. Our lives are going through a lot of transition right now. On the farm we learned to live so simply, on very little income. We learned to appreciate the things around us, the time we spend together, the animals, the grass, the sunsets, the food , instead of the things.   Now that we are back at work we are spending (and planning our spending) much more wisely. It's difficult to resist sometimes (like the chicken coop with chickens I found last night on craiglist...) but we are, we want to grow slowly, at a sustainable pace. That's something we learned on the farm, something not-to-do, that slow and steady wins the race, buying everything at once is only going to make things more difficult in the long run. That said, we do have three rabbits now! You can see pictures over at the farm blog here . Our plan next is to save for about a month, then get some chickens. Then save for a month or...

hello there a jacket I made after Ian Curtis of Joy Division, in the movie Control (old school) I haven't fully explained the living situation we moved home to. Since Jonathan and I left for the farm we have had two additional house guests. Wanda, the first, has been a life long friend of my mother, and after being thrown some of life's unexpected curves, she needed a place to stay, and my parents opened their arms. She has been incredibly helpful while we were away, taking the pressure off my mom with the cooking and cleaning. The second is my cousin, Billy, who came to stay about 50 days ago. We were reconnected after my grandfather's passing, when he was first trying to escape a bad relationship fueled by alcohol, while still caring for his two sweet children. What started as a weekend retreat away from the pressure of city life grew into an opportunity to become a family, despite being out of touch for years. He immediately showed his appreciation for stayin...

I read an article in the Roanoke Times awhile back titled, "Will it make my life better?" It was about a man who asked himself that question before buying anything, and as a result he is debt free, happy, and has his life to enjoy without stressing about money. Our greatest problem isn't that we don't have enough money, but that we have too many wants. We're spoiled. When we learn to live with the basics and not want for everything we see our lives will improve greatly. I've tried to start asking myself this question all the time before I buy things, because usually the answer is no. I've been working on a budget (for myself and Jonathan) to start the new year. A budget that is realistic, accurate, and easy to follow. One of my biggest hobbies is listing. I love to make lists. So for our budget I made a monthly budget, as well as one we can follow weekly. Since I work for tips, having a way to track my money daily is very important. I've also been re...