luna acres

Prologue: You may already know that I have been working on a novel about the daily struggle of life with mental disorders, in particular anxiety, depression, and borderline personality disorder.  It is a work of fiction, although it is loosely based on my some own experiences.  This is part of that project. #shelostcontrolagain --- Borderline Personality Disorder. That's what the therapist said I have. I sit in the floor with the spread of pamphlets I was given. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), Borderline Personality Disorder is defined as an enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and oneself in which there are problems in a variety of areas including interpersonal behavior, mood, and self-image. I read every word slowly, repeated each line in my head. I pressed the tip of a black ink pen into the paper, underlining. Interpersonal behavior. Mood. Self-image.  People with Borderline

Several months ago we were walking into our favorite bar downtown, and the crowd of people was already overflowing onto the street. Just before stepping inside I passed a couple that seemed like ghosts to me. My heart stopped. She had inspired me to really start blogging, with her lovely posts and photographs. And he, well, he used to be my best friend. We met on new years eve when I was 13, both awkward outcasts at a church event (probably more true of me than of him...) We shared a taste in music, in fact he introduced me to several of my favorites, like Ben Harper and Radiohead. We helped each other through the chaos that is puberty, starting highschool, and first dates. I hadn't seen them in years. They live in another state. Time changes us all- but this was someone who helped me grow up, helped me survive, and I couldn't make eye contact. I couldn't smile. I couldn't say hello. Living with social anxiety means that  sometimes, everyday you're

I am trying to get back into the blogging world after months of radio silence. Sometimes life gets the best of me and I fall off the radar for awhile. Back in January of this year I made the goal to write a book, something I have thought about many times but still haven't made much progress on. It is a work of fiction, but inspired by my personal struggle with anxiety, depression and self mutilation. In an attempt to motivate myself and make use of this space again, this is a piece I wrote this weekend. I am torn about sharing, it is personal and very very real- please proceed with caution. Please be aware that it is graphic and may be triggering to those suffering with similar issues. I. Depression. Depression is a pit. Everyday we walk through a minefield of holes craters sinkholes. Some are easy to miss they are in the open you can circle them see what will cause you to fall step back avoid it. But others are camouflaged,  hidden   secret. There are trip w

my companion through all of time and space On April 18th, 2015 I was lucky enough to marry my best friend in the entire world, my soulmate, my other half, my better  half, my everything. We had the ceremony two days before we celebrated our eight year anniversary as a couple. With a budget of nearly nothing we threw together a great party, under a few big white tents in our yard beside the river. All of the decorations were handmade. The bridesmaids dresses all thrift-ed from Goodwill. Our families helped with the food and drinks. It was so simple, and so very us.  my beautiful bridesmaids The bridal party was composed of the closest friends and family. Bridesmaids: Amy, Savannah, Christina, Brittany & Kaylee Groomsmen: Zach, Ethan, Justin, Michael & Deacon my daddy <3  Jonathan's sister Toni went above and beyond when we asked her to be our officiant. She jumped through the necessary hoops and became fully able to marry us legally! The serv

After six months of not having a computer, I am finally back!  It feels great to be editing photos and sitting at a keyboard again. Man oh man, a lot has happened in the last six months! We planned a wedding, got married,  and took a road trip to New Orleans! There's a lot to catch up on, and tons more new stuff to come. Until next time, Angela Kelly Taylor

The next project I'm working on for the wedding is table decorations.  I don't want you to see everything yet, but here's a little preview. Being on such a tight budget,  we are using all re-purposed jars and wine bottles for the arrangements.  The hot glue gun has been my very best friend! Most of the flowers, ribbon, and burlap came from the dollar store  and Michael's (don't forget your coupons!)  I do hope to use a bunch of real flowers too.   I hope you enjoyed this little sneak peek! Until next time, Angela Kelly

3 years 284 posts 9777 page views countless words My blog just celebrated its third birthday on new years, and I thought it was worth it to mention how much this space has helped me grow as a writer and as a person. My blogging career actually started much earlier, with a LiveJournal account through my middle and high school years; a pitiful collection of ramblings and nonsense, but everyone starts somewhere. Looking back now it's amazing to see how my writing skills have improved, my thought process and ideas, and how it has helped me sort through difficult times in my life. Above all else, I have enjoyed it, and don't plan to quit anytime soon. "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." Maya Angelou Until  next time, Angela Kelly Update: In case anyone is interested I looked up my old LiveJournal account. Created in December 2002 and maintained until 2008. 964 posts- woah

Yesterday Trilli got to have a puppy play date with her best friend, Oreo, and a new boyfriend, Yeti. Everyone in our group has a dog or two, so socializing them is essential. With several large breeds covered in our pack, they can be a bit much at first. Oreo (the pit bull) is quick like lighting, nudging the others with her nose and batting her paws. Trilli (husky and lab) loves to play but has the biggest mouth, constantly barking. We're working on that. Yeti is a basset hound and great Pyrenees mix, still growing and just beautiful. He got along with the girls wonderfully, outside taking turns pouncing on each of them. It's great to watch a pack of dogs together, it's so natural for them, their own kind; friends.  Hopefully next time I'll remember to bring my camera! Until next time, Angela Kelly

Trilli didn't want to pose for a picture.  Yesterday morning we woke up to a dusting of snow covering the ground.  Just a little bit, light and beautiful.  Our pack has an extra member for awhile,  my grandmother's Chihuahua Baby.  She is in the hospital after a fall left her bruised and sore,  with underlying problems yet to be determined.  We love her so very much and are sending all our good thoughts  and prayers that she recovers quickly.  Her little Baby is in good hands though, we just love having her.  Baby in her little jacket :)  Trilli is obviously jealous, but adjusting to her presence.  The cats seem disinterested, being twice her size at least!  I've never cared for small dogs much, but she is just such a sweetheart.  Everyone please keep my granny in your thoughts this week!  Until next time, Angela Kelly the pack

the sun sets for you a storm comes I woke up last night thinking about death. This week has been challenging, an old boss and friend of mine passed away, taking his own life. I have struggled with depression my whole life. I know how it feels to be in that pit. Drowning. Hopeless. I watched my blood spill onto the floor countless times, wishing for the courage to just end it all; but I never did. Today I am thankful. I can look back on those times and know  that it will be okay, it will get better, I will be happy again. But what if I hadn't? What if I couldn't hold on? What if the pain was too great? I am so grateful to my family and friends for helping me hold on through those dark times. I wish we could have saved him, too.  The church was filled with people who knew him for the memorial. It was touching to see so many people come out, but also heartbreaking to see the lack of family. Parents passed, no children or siblings, only one uncle to be survived by. The

"There's a storm coming, but it won't match  the storms inside darling, that's for sure." New Year's Resolutions are something everyone has a different opinion about,  and I've been through them all.  Too many, not enough,  two weeks of giving up a bad habit  then always resorting to my old ways.  Work out more. Eat out less. Stop drinking soda. Quit smoking.  I always start out with the best intentions,  unfortunately that's about as far as I usually get.  Well, this year is going to be different. I am giving myself one big challenge to complete in 2015, something I have wanted to do for years, and started to do in November: Write a book.  My goal is to have a complete final draft by the end of the year. A work of fiction,   a woman retelling her struggle with anxiety and depression. Something I am very familiar with and feel compelled to write about. Inspired by some of my own experiences, an

Jonathan and I have been planning our April wedding and unlike the average couple (who apparently spend $20,000 on a wedding!) we don't have much money. Okay, that was a little bit of an understatement; we don't have any money. We are both in job transitions, trying to make ends meet, and a lavish wedding just isn't on the agenda. Luckily for us, we've never cared too much about expensive things anyway.  I plan on doing lots of posts in the next few months about our wedding. Today, I wanted to share my invitations with you, which I just finished yesterday! Many brides spend a fortune on expensive stationary, envelopes, invitations, calligraphers, and more. I prefer the simplicity and heartfelt signature of a handmade invitation. Thankfully the guest list is pretty small, and I only had to make about 50 invitations. I went shopping the weekend after Christmas and got some great deals on supplies.  Stores like Michael's and AC Moore offer printabl