on death and loss and family and love.

the sun sets for you

a storm comes

I woke up last night thinking about death. This week has been challenging, an old boss and friend of mine passed away, taking his own life. I have struggled with depression my whole life. I know how it feels to be in that pit. Drowning. Hopeless. I watched my blood spill onto the floor countless times, wishing for the courage to just end it all; but I never did. Today I am thankful. I can look back on those times and know that it will be okay, it will get better, I will be happy again. But what if I hadn't? What if I couldn't hold on? What if the pain was too great? I am so grateful to my family and friends for helping me hold on through those dark times. I wish we could have saved him, too.

The church was filled with people who knew him for the memorial. It was touching to see so many people come out, but also heartbreaking to see the lack of family. Parents passed, no children or siblings, only one uncle to be survived by. The service began with a reading from his mother, written when he was just a child. I simply cannot imagine life without my sisters, my mom and dad, grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews. My life is so very very full, and I feel blessed to be surrounded by them.

Many are not so lucky.

I hope that anyone out there without a great family

can find strength in some amazing friends.

I know that Mike did.

His friends were everything,

and they showed it by setting up such a wonderful memorial service

and gathering together after in his memory.

I hope you found your peace now.

The world won't be the same without you, though.

Until next time,

Angela Kelly

frozen geese to bring some cheer to this post

farewell

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puppy play date

Yesterday Trilli got to have a puppy play date with her best friend, Oreo, and a new boyfriend, Yeti. Everyone in our group has a dog or two, so socializing them is essential. With several large breeds covered in our pack, they can be a bit much at first. Oreo (the pit bull) is quick like lighting, nudging the others with her nose and batting her paws. Trilli (husky and lab) loves to play but has the biggest mouth, constantly barking. We're working on that. Yeti is a basset hound and great Pyrenees mix, still growing and just beautiful. He got along with the girls wonderfully, outside taking turns pouncing on each of them. It's great to watch a pack of dogs together, it's so natural for them, their own kind; friends. Hopefully next time I'll remember to bring my camera! Until next time, Angela Kelly

a new project

I stumbled upon a website last week about low impact woodland homes, essentially: hobbit houses. Dug into a hillside and covered with earth to create an efficient and beautiful house. They are made with roundwood framing, using oak trees left whole as the timbers. Straw bales are used for insulation in the walls and under the floor. They used a natural lime plaster on the walls, recycled materials for everything possible, thrifted doors and windows. All together this husband/father and his father in law built a house for under $4000 in about four months. I have been blown away by the ideas and resources available on the subject. We have spent hours already discussing the outbuildings we will need in the future, such as barns, root cellars, storage sheds, animal shelters, and well we could definitely use a few cabins around. If we can utilize the materials around us in this way, it's possible for us to create an incredible farm, beautiful, efficient, and sustainable....

Justin and Savannah's Wedding - The Reception

The ceremony was simple and sweet, and the reception was the perfect party. A band on the porch, delicious food and drinks, cake and dancing. It was an epic night for everyone involved. Until next time, Angela Kelly

luna acres

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