on death and loss and family and love.

the sun sets for you

a storm comes

I woke up last night thinking about death. This week has been challenging, an old boss and friend of mine passed away, taking his own life. I have struggled with depression my whole life. I know how it feels to be in that pit. Drowning. Hopeless. I watched my blood spill onto the floor countless times, wishing for the courage to just end it all; but I never did. Today I am thankful. I can look back on those times and know that it will be okay, it will get better, I will be happy again. But what if I hadn't? What if I couldn't hold on? What if the pain was too great? I am so grateful to my family and friends for helping me hold on through those dark times. I wish we could have saved him, too.

The church was filled with people who knew him for the memorial. It was touching to see so many people come out, but also heartbreaking to see the lack of family. Parents passed, no children or siblings, only one uncle to be survived by. The service began with a reading from his mother, written when he was just a child. I simply cannot imagine life without my sisters, my mom and dad, grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews. My life is so very very full, and I feel blessed to be surrounded by them.

Many are not so lucky.

I hope that anyone out there without a great family

can find strength in some amazing friends.

I know that Mike did.

His friends were everything,

and they showed it by setting up such a wonderful memorial service

and gathering together after in his memory.

I hope you found your peace now.

The world won't be the same without you, though.

Until next time,

Angela Kelly

frozen geese to bring some cheer to this post

farewell

Comments

planting broccoli

Last year I was too late to start the early season plants, but not this time! I even used my farmers almanac calender to plan the dates to start seeds! I sure hope this broccoli grows! It's like a little sneak peak of spring... Until next time, Angela Kelly

a tribute to Zaphod

It has been nearly a month since the untimely death of our dearest kitty. It is late tonight, I cannot sleep and my mind is filled with grief and sorrow still. I have heard it said that loving animals is only setting oneself up for pain in the end. I may have believed it, but until now I have never felt it. Not to say that I have not lost a pet in the past, in fact several, but fortunately they had all lived long and happy lives before old age and illness took them away. This cannot be said for Zaphod. His life only lasted two short years, and it is the knowing he was meant to spend another decade with us that pains me the most. We adopted Zaphod when he was only five weeks old, a tiny grey fuzz ball too small to eat. He refused a bottle or wet food, and we honestly worried he was not going to survive those first few days. After several trips to the vet for IV fluids and two weeks of force feeding, he accept a bowl of dry food for his first real meal, despite...

a few lessons in rabbit husbandry

We now have two years of experience under our belts raising rabbits. We have learned a lot of useful information already, but we are far from experts. That's the thing with farming, with raising animals, you will never be done learning. Bring it on. As of today we have 17 rabbits in our little group, and the more animals you have the more likely you are to have problems. Here are a few of ours: the girls The first problem we had is with the smallest litter we have, which we have had in a large dog crate on the grass. They are starting to get pretty big, and coming of age, they are starting to get a little frisky. This is bad news bears. I was out watching them and saw three boys ganging up on one girl, so in a hurry I fixed up a cage and moved her into it. She was visibly shaken, breathing quickly, her hair a mess with tufts pulled out (that was the first sign I saw that something was going on.) The next d...

luna acres

Search This Blog