luna acres

Warning: This post contains graphic material that may be triggering. The last few days were rough for me. I fell into a pit of depression, bad vibes and the week long rainy-day-blues, combined with a little PMS probably, just a storm of negativity and anxiety and  self-loathing . It’s so gross. But I’m trying to be easy on myself. No one has good days every day, no matter how perfect things are. Sometimes we need to be sad. To cry. To spiral into a black hole of guilt and regret. Well, maybe we don’t need that. But it happens, regardless. It allowed me to dive into myself though... to reflect on how much I’ve grown in my lifetime. And it led to all of these trains of thought to explore and share (as I’m typing this...  maybe  share.)   Five years ago, I shared “A Note About Anxiety” , a piece I wrote about depression and anxiety and self-mutilation. It’s graphic. But I feel like it’s a good prequel to where I am now.    One of the things I dove into thinkin...

not a very flattering hair do. On the drive home from wedding dress shopping tonight I was thinking about my life now-a-days, here with Jonathan. It started with thoughts of my mental state back in the "dark ages", compared to now. Throughout middle school, high school, my brief stint in college, and the few years afterwards, I struggled agonizingly with depression and anxiety. I was very reserved, kept everything bottled up inside, had little to no self confidence, cried and mutilated myself versus confronting people with my words and emotions. It took me years and hitting my personal rock bottom (I believe everybody has their own, and they are all different) to get help. A few years of therapy, some mild antidepressants, and a lot of personal life decisions have led me down a path of calm, love, sometimes anger and fear, but now expressed in healthy ways (like art, or screaming.) Moving back to my parents place in the country was the first big step. It gave us a brea...

Coming back from vacation is always the hardest part, isn't it? Also I think it's awful how nice the weather was at the beach (cool, in the 80s, scattered showers) compared to here (hot, breaking 100 nearly each day, and rain is only a dream.) Aside from the heat, it is good to be back on the farm. I can't say that I've been very positive during our chores and more still during our breaks when there's just no escaping the heat to relax. It had become our routine to get up early (still not early enough), take a long afternoon nap, then go back out to work around 5 or 6 when the sun is finally low enough to breathe. It helps us avoid the direct sunlight for awhile, but it also makes for long days, done working at 7 or 8, with dinner still to be made and desperately needed showers to be had (assuming there's enough water pressure for showers.) I'm sure that is enough of my complaining for one day, and the least I could do is throw in some good words, so you ...

One of my favorite hobbies is hiking. I grew up taking day hikes with my dad whenever we could. I always loved the outdoors. Last spring my dad, Jonathan and I started backpacking. We took four overnight hikes, and fell in love. It's amazing to be outside with the wilderness and all of your resources on your back. Here's a little bit about our adventures this past year. McAfee's Knob was a seven mile hike, plus another two miles to the camp site and water. But (if you've ever been there you already know) the view is incredible. Only a few more miles down the trail is Tinker Cliffs, which I've heard is beautiful. We hope to hike through both this year, maybe even all the way to 220, which would be about a 15 mile hike (our longest yet). Sinking Creek was the hardest hike we've done so far. The grueling four miles up the steep mountain racing the sunset to get to camp was a real challenge. There were times all three of us didn't know if we could ...

Health has always been important to me. I'm thankful that I learned early that diets are a waste of time, and that its all about making healthy choices. I love to workout, even though it seems like a constant battle to fit it into my day. I hope to share about my workout habits in more detail (and with pictures!) in the near future, but for now, here's a brief run down of my routines (or routines I want to try to keep this time!). Yoga is my favorite. Favorite favorite favorite. I've been practicing it since I was a freshmen in high school when I got to teach a class about it. I love the physical, mental, and spirital-ness of it all. Meditation really can help (ecspcially when you're as crazy as I am) calm your thoughts and your life and make all of it more enjoyable. I have a friend who is certified to teach classes (something I dream of) and I am dying to take a class with her. I also try to fit in some strength trainging. I've been on again off again for a lo...