a tribute to Zaphod

It has been nearly a month since the untimely death of our dearest kitty. It is late tonight, I cannot sleep and my mind is filled with grief and sorrow still. I have heard it said that loving animals is only setting oneself up for pain in the end. I may have believed it, but until now I have never felt it. Not to say that I have not lost a pet in the past, in fact several, but fortunately they had all lived long and happy lives before old age and illness took them away. This cannot be said for Zaphod. His life only lasted two short years, and it is the knowing he was meant to spend another decade with us that pains me the most.

 We adopted Zaphod when he was only five weeks old, a tiny grey fuzz ball too small to eat. He refused a bottle or wet food, and we honestly worried he was not going to survive those first few days. After several trips to the vet for IV fluids and two weeks of force feeding, he accept a bowl of dry food for his first real meal, despite my efforts with wet food, milk, and even baby food!

Zaphod was meant to be my cat. However in his first several weeks with us Jonathan was unemployed, and it was they who formed the truest bond. Zaphod made his bed on Jonathan's chest, being comforted by his facial hair and head rubs. They were a true pair.

He was just over a year old when we adopted Trillian, our puppy. Zaphod was immediately the bully older brother, putting the pup in a headlock and wrestling her to the ground on a regular basis. It was not long before Trilli outgrew Zaphod, but their playful antics never changed. You have never seen a cat and dog become such close friends. It lifted my heart to find them cuddling close when no one was looking.

 So many times did Jonathan and I ask each other, "how did we manage to get the best puppy and kitty in the world?" 

We truly did.

Coming to the farm changed everything. We brought three kitties with us, but Zaphod was the only one we wanted to keep inside, because he has always been the adventurer, and very curious (even by a cat's standards.) After two months we had to open the windows to let the heat out, and with no screens keeping him inside became impossible. Welcome to the outdoors Zaphod. That's a road- bad- stay away.

It was early Saturday morning, I was leaving to buy livestock feed, when I found him. I saw him on the road and time stopped. Everything from then felt like a dream, a nightmare. I pulled the big truck into the ditch and jumped out. I turned and ran towards him, crying out, "No. It's not him. No. No. No." When I reached him, I fell to my knees right there in the road. I screamed and screamed and can remember thinking, I've never screamed before, not like this. Screaming and crying out with every bit of air I could pull into my lungs. I don't know how long I sat there screaming. I don't know how no one heard me. I don't even know if any cars passed by.

Even after I picked him up and put him in the truck, I was still screaming. The whole drive. Then having to tell Jonathan. His closest pet. The only animal he has ever been endeared to with his whole heart. He was our baby.

He is at rest now, taken home and buried in a nice grove of trees where I plan to start a garden, in rememberance of animals who become family. The ones who touch our hearts. The ones we have to protect. The ones we cannot forget.

Never, ever forget.

Goodbye Zaphod. 

Sweet dreams dear kitty.